A reading of Timothy Egan’s column both informs and entertains. Forget about comedy writers. We’ve got real, live Republicans who provide all the humor necessary to split your gut. I refer you to Egan’s entire essay, but a few excerpts will surely entice.
The tutorial in 8th grade biology that Republicans got after one of their members of Congress went public with something from the wackosphere was instructive, and not just because it offered female anatomy lessons to those who get their science from the Bible.
Take a look around key committees of the House and you’ll find a governing body stocked with crackpots whose views on major issues are as removed from reality as Missouri’s Representative Todd Akin’s take on the sperm-killing powers of a woman who’s been raped.
But Mr. Akin will not go quietly. He’s determined to stay in the race for his state’s U.S. Senate seat. His fellow travelers would prefer that he withdraw for the good of the party, even though his fatuous opinions inform the GOP platform unveiled in Tampa.
On global warming:
We’re currently experiencing the worst drought in 60 years, a siege of wildfires, and the hottest temperatures since records were kept. But to Republicans in Congress, it’s all a big hoax. The chairman of a subcommittee that oversees issues related to climate change, Representative John Shimkus of Illinois is — you guessed it — a climate-change denier.
At a 2009 hearing, Shimkus said not to worry about a fatally dyspeptic planet: the biblical signs have yet to properly align. “The earth will end only when God declares it to be over,” he said, and then he went on to quote Genesis at some length. It’s worth repeating: This guy is the chairman.
And speaking of Genesis, Egan cites a recent Gallup poll that shows 58 percent of Republicans “believe God created humans in the present form just within the last 10,000 years — a wealth of anthropological evidence to the contrary.” How could I even have a conversation with these people?
It seems that some members of the GOP don’t appreciate what’s become of their party. Egan brings in Joe Scarborough:
And in an on-air plea for sanity, Joe Scarborough, the former G.O.P. congressman and MSNBC host, said, “I’m just tired of the Republican Party being the stupid party.” I feel for him. But don’t expect the reality chorus to grow. For if intelligence were contagious, his party would be giving out vaccines for it.
I regret the refrain, so necessary, however: Only in America.